Frilly Frilly Wee!
by Mekio
Summary: Voldemort in a Pink Frilly dress? Why not?... Ch. 5 is up! **Finally updated** Warning: occasional swear words
1. Trying to Think!

(Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this fiction.)  
  
***A/N: Hiya Folks! I would like to introduce you to the wonderful world of a very f*cked up Harry Potter, Hogwarts halloween party. This my first comedy attempt, therefore...I BEG YOU BE MERCIFUL!!!***  
  
Characters: Harry Potter (Duh!), Herminoe Granger, Ron Weasly (what would the world be with out the dream team, eh?), Severus Snape, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Albus Dumbledore, Draco Malfoy, Lucious Malfoy, Tom Riddle Aka Voldemort and Minerva McGonagall.  
  
Scene 1: Harry and his pals are in the corner of Gryffindor tower trying to decide what they're going to wear for costumes at Dumbledores little halloween bash aka Fund-raiser for the non-pouching act of the Tebo (warthog whose hide is prized by wizards).  
  
Ron: I think its bloody brilliant!  
  
Herminoe: Ron! What would peole say if harry came dressed as You-Know-Who?!  
  
(Harry and Ron were too busy visualizing Draco Malfoy running for his life.)  
  
Harry: What am I suspose to come as Darth Vader?  
  
(Suddenly Harry went into a fit, seeing Volemort plotting something evvvvilll...actually he was holding up costumes asking lucious Malfoy something, "Does this make me look fat?" ... "No. Not at all my Lord!" )  
  
Herminoe: RON! DON'T PANIC!  
  
Harry: huh? -Wha?  
  
(Herminoe Screams. Ron looks at her like she's stupid)  
  
Ron: Cool your jets will you Herminoe, he's fine!  
  
Harry: I saw Voldemort!  
  
(at this point the few people that were in the room were staring at them stupidly as Ron looked around panicked)  
  
Ron: Where is he! Harry where?!  
  
(Herminoe glanced at him as if to say 'whose stupid now')  
  
Herminoe: In a dream you dolt!  
  
Ron: Like...like Trelawny?  
  
Herminoe: Ha! that rigid old bug eyed-  
  
Harry: Yeah, like trelawny.  
  
(Harry completely ignoring herminoe's insults of trelawny even though he probably would agree with most of them)  
  
Ron: Sh!t. Harry what are we going to do... what exactlty was he doing?  
  
Herminoe: Hopefully jumping off a bridge.  
  
Harry: I wish, no, he was holding up costumes asking Lucious if they made him look fat...scary really.  
  
Herminoe: Anything with Voldemort in it is scary harry!  
  
Harry: Not really..he was holding up a pink frilly dress like pansy wore in our fourth year...you know the yule ball?  
  
Ron: Maybe we should take you to the hospital wing, harry I think your comming down with something...  
  
(At that moment Professor McGonagall burst through the portrait hole and into the common room)  
  
Minerva: Hopefully everybody has picked out their costumes because they must be inspected to make sure they are -er- suitable infront of your classmates and our Guests.  
  
(Minerva gave a sideward glance towards the weasly twins who had patched two shirts together that stated: Support Human Cloning and to Lee Jordan who was wearing a barel like someone who had lost their clothes)  
  
Harry: I got it! I'll go as Ron.  
  
Ron: Me? umm...and I'll go as you!  
  
Herminoe: Who am I suspose to go as?!  
  
Ron: I got it, make a shirt with malfoy and his goon's pictures on it and have it say 'the idot convention!'  
  
Herminoe: Oh thats good and then when Snape finds out, what then?  
  
Ron: Add his face too!  
  
Harry: Shhh! Professor's right over there...  
  
(Minerva approached them as they quickly pretended to be working on homework.)  
  
Minerva: Miss GRanger do you yet know what you are going as?  
  
(Herminoe decided it was best to fake it)  
  
Herminoe: Oh Proffessor! I was going to go as you! You're such an inspiration!  
  
(Ron and Harry sniggered at her, but Minerva blushed and smiled at her proudly then walked out of the common room.) 


	2. Mauve Suit? Oh goodness me

(Disclaimer: I don't own the characters ect.)  
  
***A/N: I'm so happy I got a good review in my e-mail today, which really made my day seeing as I screwed around all week and decided to do a weeks worth of homework in one freakin hour (mind you I was starting to panic) but no, the great Intinua continues on her path of awesomeness to bring the second chapter of a fic I don't even really know the plot to. ^^ if you please, send me advice of what you think should happen!***  
Charcters: Same as before (duh!)  
  
(Scene: After Harry Potter and pals decided what they were going to be -Hermione having no choice but to be Minerva- they decided to write a letter to Sirius Balck telling him about Harry's vision. *in the owlery*)  
  
Harry: Its not that big of deal is it?  
  
Hermione: Oh yes, thats what you said last time and look what happened.  
  
(Harry gave a guilty sort of depressed look)  
  
Ron: Stop it Hermione! I mean the man's got enough to deal with, do you have to remind him every five seconds that he made a lowsy mistake!  
  
(Hermione glared at Ron for a moment then looked down at her shoes)  
  
Harry: Umm, yeah so...what should I write.  
  
Hermione and Ron: Oh yeah thats right duh!  
Dear Sirius,  
  
I had a vision, Voldemort was wearing a pink frilly dress, what does it all mean?  
  
Sincerly, Harry Potter  
(Harry ties the letter on to Hedwig's led and then she flies off. The trio goes back to their common room.)  
  
Hermione: *gasp* I think I figured it out!  
  
Ron: Really? Don't suspose you'll tell us?  
  
(Hermione looks at Ron like hes stupid)  
  
Hermione: Do you think its possible that You-Know-Who will try and come to Dumbledore's Halloween Bash?  
  
Ron: Brilliant deduction Hermione, just one thing...Dumbledore, or do think he's to old to kick You-know-who's bony a$$?  
  
(Hermione looks disgusted)  
  
Hermione: Ron? How do you know it's bony?  
  
Harry: Alright, back to the subject. Is Voldemort that stupid to come to Dumbledore's Halloween party wearing a pink frilly dress?  
  
(Hermione and Ron look at eachother then at harry)  
  
Hermione: Well, uh, no.  
  
Ron: Guess not.  
  
Harry: What are you talking about, of course he is! Or have you forgotten that he'll stop at nothing to TRY and kill me?  
  
(An awkward silence)  
  
Ron: So yeah... Guess what?  
  
Hermione and Harry: What?  
  
Ron: I heard Madam Hooch telling Snape that Lupin's comming to the Halloween bash.  
  
(Hermione giggles)  
  
Hermione: Oh that must have been good, tell me what happened, did his head explode or was he breathing fire?   
  
Ron: Nothing happened actually, he looked happy about it. I tell you, theres just something not right about that man.  
  
Harry: *snorts* What gave it away? His ego? Or his poorly proportioned face?  
  
Hermione: Really, you two, grow up! We shouldn't insult teacher's its not right!  
  
Ron: Yeah, whatever. Snape's an exception.   
  
Harry: Wish he'd get sacked.  
  
Snape: What's that Potter?  
  
( The same cold voice in their common room?! Its a scandal!)  
  
Harry: What are you doing in here?! Can't you find ways to expel your own students?  
  
(Snape gives a light chuckle)  
  
Snape: And miss out on the nice conversation you were having? Why would I want to do that?  
  
Hermione: That doesn't answer the question, How did you get in here?  
  
Snape: Silly girl, I'm a Professor, I, have access to the whole school.  
  
Ron: *mutters* Then access your way into the forbidden forest and stay there. You'll probably be rewarded a trophy for services to the school.  
  
Snape: Whats that Weasley?  
  
Harry: Neville's in the infirmory, so if you must bully someone Snape, you'll know where to look.  
  
(Snape and Harry glared at eachother for about five minutes)  
  
Snape: 20 points from Gryffindor.  
  
(Snape leaves)  
  
Ron: The nerve!  
  
Hermione: I told you, you shouldn't insult the teachers.  
  
Ron: Get off it Hermione!  
  
(Scene 2: Meanwhile Voldemort was preparing for his grand appearence at Dumbledore's Halloween Bash)  
  
Voldemort: Tell me the truth Wormtail, the Red or the blonde, I think I'm vavishing in the bernette.  
  
Wormtail: Y-yes my Lord I agree with your taste.  
  
Voldemort: Don't lie, I know you prefer the blonde!  
  
Wormtail: S-sir I would never...I am your loyal and faithful servant.  
  
Voldemort: Maybe I should ask Malfoy, at least he has taste.  
  
(Wormtail looked hurt)  
  
Voldemort: Don't look sad Wormtail you get to have the very rare privilge as going as my date. Go with the Mauve suit.  
  
Wormtail: Y-yes sir.  
  
Voldemort: You idiot I know you hate the Mauve, you can't lie to me! 


	3. Getting Detention

(Disclaimer: As always I do not own the characters ect.)  
  
***A/N: Are Author Notes mandatory? Anywho... getting close to the Halloween Bash! I have something planned for that, but since technically the party is the end of the fic, I'm stalling.***  
  
Characters: Same as yesterday and the day before that.   
  
(Scene: Potion's Class. Snape is distracted momentarily by neville who has again managed to demolish another cauldron.)  
  
Harry: When do you think Sirius is going to write us back?  
  
Hermione: It could be awhile, remember he's on the run afterall.  
  
Ron: Five sickles says buckbeak ate the letter.  
  
Harry: You're on!  
  
Snape: Having fun are we?  
  
(A cold voice dawned on them as the whole class was staring at them.)  
  
Draco: Did you say...Sirius? Sirius Black?  
  
Ron: NO my cousin just happens to be named Sirius and he's helping...-er  
  
Hermione: His brother Charlie in Romania; he's studying dragons.  
  
(Everyone looks at Harry)  
  
Harry: Uh, yeah, thats right, and we were -uh- writing him for ummm...  
  
Hermione: Advice for our Care of Magical Creatures Class.  
  
(Ron and Harry nodded violently)  
  
Snape: Potter, Weasley, and Granger, stay after class, and, 10 points from Gryffindor for disrrupting class.  
  
(Snape had a strange expression, of disappiontment and glee on his face)  
  
Ron: Damnit! another night of gutting toads!  
  
Hermione: Believe it or not I don't think he's giving us detention.   
  
Ron: You've lost it!  
  
Harry: Snape would never miss a chance to punish us.  
  
(Draco, who had been sitting close to them leaned in to listen then raised his hand.)  
  
Snape: Yes Mr. Malfoy?  
  
Draco: Sir, if its not too much to ask, can you split these three up? They wont stop talking.  
  
Snape: That sounds like a good idea. Potter up front! Weasley by Longbottom! Granger stay where you are.  
  
(Harry sat down right infront of Snape)  
  
Snape:*whisper* Better be more careful Potter wouldn't want the truth to slip, eh?  
  
Harry: I'll keep that in mind.  
  
(After potions class they found that each of them had gotten a detention. To Hermione's great joy, professor flitwick said he had something he needed done and asked snape if Hermione could serve her detention with him.)  
  
Ron: Told you so Hermione!  
  
(a figure appears out of the shadows behind them.)  
  
Draco: Oh no, does Potter have a detention?...Gasp what a horrible thing to have happened!  
  
Ron: Can it Malfoy!  
  
Hermione: Oh hello Proffessor Dumbledore!  
  
(Draco turned around to meet eyes with Dumbledore)  
  
Dumbledore: Move along Mr. Malfoy.  
  
(Draco left without another word)  
  
Dumbledore: So, How are you three doing?  
  
Ron: Have you ever considered sacking Snape?  
  
Hermione:*shocked* Ron! don't ask the headmaster that!!  
  
Harry: Were fine, Professor Snape gave us detention.  
  
Dumbledore: Is that so. I will discuss this with Severus, perhaps I can get one of you to serve a detention with myself.  
  
Ron: So...that basically means Harry's stuck with Professor Snape alone.  
  
Harry: What do you mean?  
  
Hermione: Professor Snape is really only intrested in getting you in trouble Harry, think about it.  
  
(Dumbledore clears his throat)  
  
Hermione: Uh, not that were trying to imply anything. 


	4. Detention With The Professors

(disclaimer: I dont own the characters ect.)  
  
***A/N: Okay check my bio for up comming fics by me. Yay! I'm finally updating!!***  
  
Characters:Always and forever the same people as before.  
  
(Scene: Harry is going into detention with Snape)  
  
Harry: Um sir...  
  
Snape: Five minutes late; five points from Gryffindor.  
  
Harry: What do you mean, I'm on time!  
  
Snape: Who sets the detention date and time Mr. Potter?  
  
Harry:*acts stupid* Dumbledore?  
  
Snape: No POTTER, I, Severus Snape, set the date and time?  
  
Harry: Oh, Okay, do you think we could change the detention to, um, lets see, Next wensday?  
  
Snape: Silence you foolish moronic boy!  
  
Harry: Wow two insults put together, thats more then usual you know...  
  
Snape:*points to a seat* SIT DOWN POTTER!  
  
(Harry, who was still mad that Dumbledore couldn't get him out of detention with Snape, decided that he wasn't going to make things easy for Snape, so Harry spun the chair around and leaned his chest to the back of the chair)  
  
Snape: Sit Properly Potter!  
  
Harry: I am...sitting down just like you asked what do want me to do juggle cabbages?  
  
Snape: As entertaining as that, no doubt, would be, I am taking 15 points from Gryffindor for your overall rudeness.  
  
Harry:*mutters* stupid f*cker...  
  
Snape: WHAT WAS THAT?!  
  
HarrY: And here I thought I was the only one who heard voices.  
  
Snape: I'm not hearing voices POTTER!  
  
(Scene 2: Meanwhile Flitwick and Hermione were talking in the Charms Classroom.)  
  
Flitwick: I don't understand why you got detention Hermione?  
  
Hermione: None of my friends understand why we get detention with Snape.  
  
Flitwick: Snape never did like harry, we caught him trying to steal harry's acceptance letter.  
  
Hermione: *shocked look* NO!  
  
Flitwick: Yes!  
  
Hermione: No.  
  
Flitwick: Yes.  
  
Hermione: Ron's right he is a - erm - nevermind.  
  
(Scene 3: Ron's in detention with Dumbledore )  
  
Ron: Professor, Why do you put up with Snape?  
  
Dumbledore: Like I told Harry, that is between Severus and I.  
  
Ron: *pleading look* Can't you just give me a hint?  
  
Dumbledore: *pretends to clear throat* Erm-Whiskey-party  
  
(Ron looks more confused then before)  
  
Ron:*uneasy* Umm alrighty then...  
  
(Scene 4: Gryffindor common room after detention)  
  
Harry: Well I lost Gryffindor 50 points again.  
  
Ron: What else is new?  
  
Hermione:*blurts out* Professor Flitwick said Snape was caught trying to steal your acceptance letter.  
  
Ron: To Hogwarts?  
  
Hermione: No to Doxy convention...  
  
Ron: *stupid look* Huh?  
  
Hermione: Of course to Hogwarts!!  
  
Ron: That F*cker!  
  
(harry wasn't paying attention...what was he going to wear to Dumbledore's halloween bash?) 


	5. Voldemort's Chat

(disclaimer: I dont own the characters ect.)  
  
***A/N: Harry is Going to choose his costume...***  
  
(Scene: Harry is by himself in Gryffindor Common Room.)  
  
Harry: Hmmm... I think I should go as Snape... yes, thats it Snape...  
  
(imagines himself running into Snape at the hallows eve bash, triping on a rug)  
  
Harry: Or maybe not Snape...Dumbledore, yeah thats it...oh wait Seamus is already going as Dumbledore.  
  
(Suddenly a voice in the back of Harry's head spoke up)  
  
Voice: You want to go as Voldemort  
  
Harry: and scare the school?  
  
Voice: Don't forget expel-erm- I mean no it'll be great.  
  
Harry: Like I want to look like a creepy 60 year old wizard  
  
Voice: Why you! how did you know I - erm - He's quiet good looking for his age.  
  
Harry: Wait a sec, who is this?  
  
Voice: Er-uh Your Sub-consious?  
  
Harry: Voldemort I may play the hero, but I'm not stupid! Get the Hell out of my head.  
  
Voldemort: Its our head harry, or as I should say, our head(s).  
  
Harry: What are you going on about now?  
  
Voldemort: Well you interrupt my thoughts, why can't interrupt your thoughts?!  
  
Harry: I go into your head because your a mass killer and I'm trying to 'stop' you.  
  
Voldemort: *laughs evily* You think you can stop me, the great-  
  
Harry: Oh lord its 3 am not this again...  
  
Voldemort: Don't mock me boy!  
  
Harry: If you can't take the heat get the hell out of my head!  
  
Voldemort: I thought I was doing the famous Harry potter some service...  
  
Harry: Oh like trying to blast me with the unforgivables was doing a service?  
  
Voldemort: This is the very last time I try to help you.  
  
Harry: Thank God...  
  
Voldemort: Go with the Mauve.  
  
Harry: OUT OF MY HEAD!  
  
(Scene 2: Morning at breakfast)  
  
Ron: I had the wierdest dream that Harry was yelling at You-know-who.  
  
Harry: Thats because I was yelling at Voldemort.  
  
Hermione: What?! How?  
  
Ron: ...  
  
Harry: My stupid f*cked up Scar.  
  
Hermione: Oh Harry I'm sorry.  
  
Harry:*shakes head* This is so messed up. Why me?  
  
(Draco Malfoy walks up)  
  
Draco: Your Days are numbered Potter  
  
Ron: So are yours if you don't get the hell away from him.  
  
Draco: Touchy Touchy.  
  
Ron: Kicky Kicky.  
  
Hermione: Ron, hes not worth our time.  
  
Draco: Thats right you little mud-blood.  
  
Hermione: Malfoy grow up.  
  
Draco:*looks at hermione* I'm plenty grown up.  
  
Hermione: Thats not what Pansy was telling her friends.  
  
Draco: F*ck you.  
  
Ron: Leave before I pound you.  
  
(Scene 3: Library)  
  
Harry: I'll dress up as Peeves  
  
(peeves pops up)  
  
Peeves: Best choice you ever made potty-potter. 


End file.
